Middle Aged People Having Steamy Sex??? Noooooo!!!

A review I received from one of my readers made the following comment:

"I was looking for a steamy read, but it turned out the characters were much older, telling the story of the past.  It was hard to relate."

While this was actually a good review with good things to say, this comment was not surprising.  I actually expected this sort of a reaction, really.

In a youth obsessed culture, we've actually gotten to the point where we picture only young, perfect bodied men and woman being sexual.  Yet the odd thing about all this is people are living longer, they are healthier, and yes, even without the youthful bodies, are sexual.

I know when people buy books, especially books with a romantic theme, they want to fulfill a fantasy, which generally means people in the story that are depicted as perfect and beautiful.   But on the other hand, if we are lucky, we are all going to grow old, and if we do, we will want the same things we want in our younger years; i.e., love, and yes, sexuality.  So I think you could constue the hot, steamy sex between middle agers Cameron and Kassandra as something positive; at the least, it is something hopeful. 

During our youth, it is hard to imagine older people being sexual, because at that age, we can't even imagine being older.  When I was a graduate student, already in my 40s at the time, I made friends with many wonderful people still in their 20s.  I remember my one friend Jessica, who I think was about 22 years old at the time, saying, "God, I can't even imagine what it would be like to be 40."

I remember telling one of my professors she had said this. He is my age.  His comment was "she will be 40 in a blink of an eye."  Of course we all know this is true.  Life doesn't wait for you, and if you're lucky, you will grow old. 

One of the things I truly wished to do with "Because You're the First" was to show how two people grow and change over the years.  We see Cameron, Kassandra, and Mindy as teenagers, and we see them years later as mature adults.  As people, they changed, yet in some ways, they remained the same. 

In words of Stevie Nicks, "the sea changes color, but the sea does not change." There are things time will never erode.  And one of them, thankfully, is the need for intimacy, and love.

Vegetables vs. Ice Cream: Loving and Hating Cameron Martin in "Because You're the First."

One of my readers, who just finished the book, asked me the other day, what was my opinion of Cameron, the main male protagonist in the story.  Seems she really hated the guy!!

Well, I guess on the surface, who wouldn't hate him? He professed to love Kassandra as a teenager, then was unfaithful in a most heinous way, causing her to react in a way that causes a tragedy.  As an adult, he never really comes clean with her about who he is, and what has gone on in his life. 

So okay; he isn't exactly a Boy Scout. But let's face it, ladies, in our heart of hearts, is Mr. Stability really who we dream about? It's kind of like eating vegetables and exercising; you know it's good for you, you should do it, but does it appeal to you on a gut level? Not really.  If the truth is to be told, you would much rather have ice cream and cake.

Cameron is kind of that ice cream and cake. He's charming, he's seductive, he's mysterious and exciting. Does ice cream and cake make you fat and raise your cholesterol? Sure, but we still eat it. My reader said Kassandra made bad choices.  I guess you could say that is true.  But how many of us have been where Kassandra was? We want that thrill; that person that makes our heart pound, our breathing quicken, who makes everything we see in our lives just a little more vivid. 

I think most women, at least once in their life, has a Cameron Martin.  We get taken in by the passion and the seduction.  We gorge ourselves on it all, filling up to the brim.  But as we all know, you can only do it for a while, and then you get a big stomach ache, and need serious relief.  We come down to earth. We go back to, maybe not vegetables, but at least eating less junk food. 

I'm sure a lot of men would take issue (my own husband for one) that I am comparing men to brussel spouts and desserts.  But the street goes both ways; I'm sure plenty of men have had their experiences with a woman who they were taken it by, and then the whole thing burnt itself out.  It's just natural that something so intense, with nothing more stable to base it on, is going to collapse. 

So is it fair to hate the Cameron Martins of the world?  I think the world is a lot less black and white. The Camerons of the world will always be there, and we will always take them in, for better or worse. 

That is one really great thing about novels, and movies, and plays.  We can get our junk food fix without gaining a lot of weight, and becoming ill.  We are able to experience these things vicariously, in the comfort of our normal lives. 

So next time you need a Cameron, head to your Kindle!! I'm sure you'll find him there. You'll have a whole lot less pain and gas.   You can love him, and hiss at him too.  What could be better!!

Admit it; You did it; Changing clothes in school and 70's fashions

Those of us that grew up in the 1960s and 1970s remember there were just certain things your mother (and for my character Kassandra Dubois from "Because You're the First" her father) just didn't think was appropriate to wear to school, or for that matter, to wear at all.

In the story, Kassandra's mother buys her a granny dress, with giant bell sleeves in a Empire cut.  In 1972, this was the height of fashion.  The mini-skirt had been around for a while, and the fashion world was ready to give us a change.  Truly, parents should have been pleased about the advent of the longer skirts, since the micro mini had been the style since the late sixties, and it was customary to roll up those skirts with elaster bands waists and make them as short as possible, leaving very little to the imagination.   This was done as soon as you left the house on your way to school.  Then the skirts were rolled back down in time to go home.   Very ingenious, we all thought.  As if we were fooling somebody, right?

The miniskirt of the 1970s

  So what we called the "granny" dress or "maxi" dress should have solved the problem of overexposure.  Except for one thing.  The people that had made this style so popular were the "flower children" or "hippies" as they were called, which gave the garment an immediate undesirability to many parents, including Kassandra's father in the story.  He says he sees the long flowing dresses on the girls from the notorious hippie gang and followers of the mastermind of seven murders in Los Angeles in the summer of 1969, Charles Manson.  In many homes in those days, hippies were considered a major threat to the "silent majority" (a term President Nixon coined), that is, the good, clean, God-fearing American, like Kassandra's father. 

 

Kassandra says this is ridiculous in the novel; that the Manson girls never wore this style.  Of course, you only saw them in their prison garb anyway.  But the granny dress did have the hippie taint, Manson girl or not. 

 

 

 

 

The granny or maxi Kassandra wore looked something like this one; loose fitting; bell sleeves, empire line.  I'm sure you can probably still find them in vintage fashion shops.  What was once considered counterculture and subversive as far as fashion went 40 years ago, is now considered mainstream, and as we all know, even conservative in a time that has survived everything risque from Madonna's pointy bras in the eighties to Lady Gaga' dress made out of beef. 

 

Of course not all clothes were miniskirts and granny dresses.  Colorful paintsuits and jumpsuits also were becoming popular.  In those days, many middle class suburban teenagers would check out the Sears catalog for some of the latest fashions.

 



 



 

 

Here is a Sears advertisement from a circular in 1972.  As you can see, bright colors and plaids were also part of the look of the time.   Although I don't know who dresses in these types of clothes to go to the beach!!

 

What I do remember is being young and wanting to express myself, to find my own style, like so many people back then, and today. That is what great fashion allows you to do; to find a place where you can be yourself.  Styles change, but being young does not.   It's a time of exploration, a time to rebel, and a time to see how far you can fly.  Of course we all found some bumps along the way, just like Kassandra and her friends do in "Because You're the First."  But we find our way somehow.  You can see how they do it by reading the book!!!

 

 



 

Available for download on Kindle!! Happy Reading!!!

  

 

 

 





Chick Lit: Literary Genre or Chewing Gum???

When I was posting my new novel "Because You're the First," onto KDP Select (otherwise known as Amazon) for publication, I was asked what genre my book would fit into.  Of course there were the usual choices; romance, suspense, action, non-fiction, etc.

It was then that I noticed one I hadn't heard of: Chick Lit.  This gave me pause.  The only "Chick Lit" I had ever known was the gum; you remember; those little tiny colored squares that came in the usual gum flavors.  You would always have to put more than one in your mouth if you were really a serious gum chewer, and especially if you wanted to blow bubbles.

But clearly, KDP Direct was not talking about gum.  This was a true literary genre. 

So the burning question was: does "Because You're the First" fit into the "Chick Lit" category. Its protagonist is certainly a woman, and the story addresses issues women face, love, aging, motherhood, daughterhood, friendship, etc. If Chick Lit meant just a women's story; well, that would probably fit. But was that all there was to it? My book address other themes that are more universal than just traditional women's issues; i.e. trust, generational issues, and the power of our institutions to exploit our humanity.

I decided to try and glean a true meaning for this term.  Of course, for that I turned to the source that is the always the epitome of accuracy and truth.

Wikipedia.

Wikipedia stated that Chick Lit is a "literary genre that addresses issues of modern womanhood, often humourously and lightheartedly."

Okay, I guess I get that. I suppose there are many books that would fit that genre. But as we all know, "modern womanhood" as they call it, can be anything but humorous and lighthearted.   I suppose it depends on your prospective.  There are humorous stories about many women's issues, from sex to menopause to parenting to marriage.  These issues of course can be funny in the right context.

"Chick Lit" to me seems to put sort of a trite connotation on writing that addresses women's issues, as if women's themes are not as weighty as men's issues.  You don't see books written predominately for men being referred to as "Dude Lit." The slang word "chick"sounds condescending; I think most women really take issue with being referred to as a "chick."  I always thought of it as an antiquated term.  Guess it must be coming back in style!!

So from that standpoint, "Because You're the First" is definitely not "Chick Lit." I listed it as "Romance" and "Suspense" and "Mainstream."  I know that while my main character is female, she has a lot to offer both male and female readers!!!

How about we call it "People Lit."  I think that would fit it perfectly!!!  Anyway, hope you enjoy the book.  In the next few weeks, I will be talking about various themes, settings and characters from it; of course this is meant to entice you to dig into to it, and enjoy!!!

Available Now on Amazon!!!!